2014 Infiniti QX80 under Road Test

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By the mid of the 21st century,our planet will be screeching under the strain of nine billion people. Already, the number of cars zooming around has exceeded one billion, which means one in seven of us have a car.

However, by 2050 there will be nearly three billion cars clogging up our roads, which means two things: car manufacturers stand to make a lot of money as the automobile population rises more exponentially than the human population, and one in three of us will have a car.

Where will all those cars find fresh tarmac to weave between lanes on? Why, right here in the Middle East, of course. Well, not all of them, obviously, but my theory goes thusly …

An average family in the Middle East has five children, and that’s a fact I didn’t just make up. Which means, with mum and dad sitting up front, the kids need five seats in the back, and that means two additional rows. Or, you can just do what seemingly everyone does around here and let the little ones treat the cabin like a jungle gym, seatbelts and child seats be damned.

Anyway, seven-member families are why you see so many seven- or even eight-seater SUVs in our region. So while the Middle East continues to enjoy higher birth rates than the Western world, it goes without saying that we’ll need a higher rate of car growth around here, as well. Or we can just drive even bigger cars.

That’s another concept to discuss, as we test one of the biggest wheeled cars – the Infiniti QX80 weighs the (much) better part of two-and-half tonnes. To be precise 2,655kg.

This car aims to offer families ultimate luxury, space, safety, performance, utility and versatility, being all-wheel-drive and all. Infiniti’s SUV flagship was launched a couple of years ago as an all-new vehicle designed specifically with American and Middle Eastern markets in mind. Previously, the QX line was pinned on top of the rugged Nissan Armada’s chassis, but Japanese engineers decided that developing the new QX80 atop the new Nissan Patrol’s platform – just updated for 2014 – would pay dividends.

They were right, because while Patrol enthusiasts cried bloody murder over the toning down of their beloved dune basher, Infiniti customers welcome the added refinement. After all, how many Infinitis do you see powering up the Al Faya dune? With its “imposing” styling (read into that what you will) and enormous sheet metal, the QX80 can command any road it’s on, which is good, because you’ll need other road users getting out of your way when you have such wallowy handling dynamics.

The upshot, however, is that the QX rides admirably well, despite its massive 22-inch rims. And, since it’s basically a fancy Patrol, it will get you far enough when the going gets rough. It includes an all-wheel-drive system with enough gizmos to enter the Desert Challenge – you won’t win, but you’ll get there in comfort. Maybe. The completely revised system (over the old car) offers drivers three modes: Auto, 4H and 4L. Leave it in Auto for 99.9 per cent of the car’s life – it delivers drive to the rear axle only, helping to save fuel. But if you do hit a troublesome patch trying to reach a picnic spot, then the system will automatically distribute torque where needed – up to 50 per cent to the front axle.

In 4H the system is permanently locked into a 50:50 split between the front and rear wheels, which allows it to easily traverse off-road terrain, thanks in part to the amount of rubber available for traction, as well as the grunt of 400hp. For particularly tricky spots, you can engage 4L, and rely on the Hill Start and Around View Monitor on rocky climbs.

Apart from its sumptuous interior, one of the Infiniti’s highlights is undoubtedly its 5.6L V8 engine. It feels sprightly from 0-to-100kph, achieving the ton in 7.3 seconds and topping out at a limited 200. But it’s the seamlessness of its cooperation with the seven-speed automatic transmission that really impresses, delivering constant power and torque in an uninterrupted flow. It twists in with 560Nm of torque, too.

The Infiniti, while sharing much of its DNA with the Nissan Patrol, is a considerably more contemporary car, with cutting-edge electronic technology somewhat making up for whatever lack of modernity it’s missing – that ladder-frame chassis, for example, is backed up by the Hydraulic Body Motion Control System quite well.

The QX’s styling, love it or hate it (chances are you’re in the latter camp), is also markedly removed from its Patrol underpinnings, and the luxurious interior appointments are way ahead of the outdated and more expensive Lexus LX 570.

So go ahead and have five kids. With the money you’re saving on an Infiniti QX80, you can probably afford to.

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